Space Bound

So after a year and 6 months, it's no longer me that you want, but I love you so much it hurts, never mistreated you once. I poured my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God, I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms. Drop to my knees and I'm pleadin, I'm tryin to stop you from leavin, you won't even listen, so fuck it, I'm tryin to stop you from breathin. I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you, squeezin til I snap your neck like a Popsicle stick, ain't a possible reason I can think of to let you walk up out this house and let you live. Tears stream down both of my cheeks, then I let you go and just give nd before I put that gun to my temple, I told you this *bang*... and I would've did anything for you to show you how much I adored you, but it's over now, it's too late to save our love. Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star cuz I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon, and I'm aimin right at you, right at you. 250,000 miles on a clear night in June and I'm so lost without you without you...
-Eminem

I can't even tell you all how much this is me right now.

Continuation

Currently I'm sitting in the car going home from yet another amazing night out with friends. Today I hung out with Jak and Bruno and we saw Step Up 3!! Yay!! It was exciting. According to Jak and Bruno, the dude in the movie was really sexy. I on the other hand was more into the chick... Natalie I think her name was.

Anyways I start school off tomorrow with a pep rally from 6-7:30 or something. But I also have a party that starts at 5 at the zoo! I'm kinda like hella juiced cuz of school! I think I'm going to go to bed soon, although I very well may stay up texting my boo thang.
*yawn* for now I'm going to say goodnight my loverliez! Te quiero. Je t'aime. Ti amo. Qum hota hai. I love you. <3.

Random Midnight Blog Session

Hello, everybody! Take a ride on the west side, kiss the girl with her tongue tied...
(That's a Lady Gaga quote)

Just thought I'd do a little bit of midnight blogging! I'm very tired, but decided to speak to you, my readers... though I know there aren't many of you... instead.
Lately things have been hectic. Hell, "hectic" is an understatement. All week, I've hung out with people! Not that it's a bad thing at all, I'm just really tired now lol. This was my week basically:
Friday- Sarah and Sofi slept over
Saturday- Saw Toy Story 3 with Alex and Karina
Sunday- Helen came over
Monday- Went to College Ave. with Jak and Mori, then Bruno met up with us and they came over
Tuesday- Went to Montclair with Maddie M. and got frozen yogurt then went to her house
Wednesday- Shopped with Mommy
Thursday- Went to Sarah and Sofi's house with Bruno

So that was my week so far. P.S., If you wanna hang out with me hit me up soon at (510) 735-1717...
I'm currently sitting on the floor in the living room watching my favorite show of all time; Little Bear!!! It's so great omg. Duck is my favorite character ever she's so cute.
In other news, I'm starting to get the hang of my O'Dowd computer! It's nice I guess, except I keep feeling like I'm gonna break it cuz it's so plastic-y and stuff... I have to delete + download some stuff, but other than that tis nice.
I'm so nervous for school! LOL JK I'm super excited.........
I'm really sleepy now so I'm gonna go to bed, even though I kinda wanna go watch the meteor shower...
*sigh* I'm so conflicted!
What evs, I'll talk to y'all another time!
XOXOs!
Hugs & kisses!

Songs That Repeatedly Get Stuck In My Head

Roam by The B-52's
Can't Let Go by Landon Pigg
Your Love by Nicki Minaj

Hi Sofi

HI SOFI!!
I LOVE YOU!!

You hinted at me to update my blog... so I am...
:)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EPIC BOOBS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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it was all lies! why did you have to tell me such lies?

This is the first song that I've started that the melody for it like instantly came to me!! I've recorded some of it and I'll share as soon as I'm totally done. For now, here's the lyrics.

Verse 1: I never thought you to be the girl to run when things got tough,
I never expected you to take the easy way out,
Cuz you were fixing the uneven pieces of my broken heart,
But now you're just another face in the crowd..

Verse 2: You used to call me every single day as many times as you could,
Cuz your mama'd never let me in her house,
And as the lines of the past and future  get finer,
It's too hard to imagine your smiling face now..

Chorus: Cuz you're the biggest piece in this puzzle I call life
Now that you're gone I can't figure out how
To put the pieces back together in the order they belong,
All I can do is try to move on...

Away

And when you're away
For a week at a time
With only a few days being home
I thought the pain
Would be easier to bear
But it's not,
Cuz I know you're not alone.

You have your companions
The one you've known since birth
And the one who you've stuck with in life
And the feelings you share
With these two other girls
Are worth more than I was ever worth

So you're off again
For a week at the most
With only a few days being home
And I'm here in bed
With my head on the pillow
Feeling your presence as if you were a ghost.

I hope you know what you did to me.
I hope you know how much pain you've caused.
And now my wounds are self inflicted, cuz you're not even around to hurt me anymore.
At this point I'm numb.
The only proof that I have that these past 3 months have been real is the countless pieces of paper in my trash can.
The notes, the pictures, the drawings, the CDs...
and our book...
remember that?
Yeah.
Someone better call the fire department quick cuz it's all gonna burn, just like my heart.
Oh, and by the way...
Happy anniversary.
I hope you're having as much fun with this as I am.

Beauty Secrets/Tips

• Put mint toothpaste on your zits to make them clear up faster. Warning: May be painful
• Hairspray and concealer covers scars ie. cut marks
• Put lemon in your shampoo of you have oily hair
• Put Jojoba oil in your hair every day if you have dry hair
• To do your own eyebrows, brush the hairs up first with a brow brush and trim the ones that are longer than your brow line with tiny scissors (if you don't have brow scissors, a mini Swiss Army knife works well too)... THEN pluck; but only the stray hairs above and below your brow line!

Pop

Definition: "Musicologists often identify the following characteristics as typical of the pop music genre: An aim of appealing to a general audience, rather than to a particular sub-culture or ideology. An emphasis on craftsmanship rather than formal "artistic" qualities. An emphasis on recording, production, and technology, over live performance. A tendency to reflect existing trends rather than progressive developments. Much pop music is intended to encourage dancing, or it uses dance-oriented beats or rhythms. The main medium of pop music is the song, often between two and a half and three and a half minutes in length, generally marked by a consistent and noticeable rhythmic element, a mainstream style and a simple traditional structure. Common variants include the verse-chorus form and the thirty-two-bar form, with a focus on melodies and catchy hooks, and a chorus that contrasts melodically, rhythmically and harmonically with the verse. The beat and the melodies tend to be simple, with limited harmonic accompaniment. The lyrics of modern pop songs typically focus on simple themes – often love and romantic relationships – although there are notable exceptions.

Sidonie's Side Notes: MAINSTREAMMM!!! Pop is my guilty pleasure. *Sigh.*

Sidonie's favs/current obsessions:
Artists- Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne, Beyonce, Britney Spears, Colbie Caillat, Coldplay, Jason Mraz, Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Ke$ha, Lenka, Lily Allen, Metro Station, Natasha Beddingfield, P!nk, The Pussycat Dolls, Sara Bareilles, Shakira, Shontelle, A Fine Frenzy, Fergie, Kate Nash, Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna
Songa- Thinking Of You by Katy Perry, So Happy I Could Die by Lady Gaga, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, If I Were A Boy by Beyonce, Piece of Me by Britney Spears, Fearless by Colbie Caillat, Lucky by Jason Mraz, Hello Beautiful by The Jonas Brothers, Somebody To Love by Justin Bieber, Dinosaur by Ke$ha, Like A Song by Lenka, Fuck You by Lily Allen, Control by Metro Station, Freckles by Natasha Beddingfield, Gravity by Sara Bareilles, La Loba by Shakira, Impossible by Shakira, Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy, Merry Happy by Kate Nash, Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson, Don't Stop The Music by Rihanna, California Gurls by Katy Perry, Christmas Tree by Lady Gaga, Backstabber by Ke$ha

Lyrics: Backstabber...
Backstabber (repeat 3x)

Bored, stoned, sitting in your basement
All alone, cause your little conversations
got around, now look at what we all found out
(look at what we, look at what we all found out)

You have got a set of loose lips, twisting stories
All because you're jealous
Now I know exactly what you're all about,
And this is what you're all about..

Girl, your such a backstabber,
Oh girl, you're such a shit talker
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

Girl, your such a backstabber,
Run your mouth more than everyone I've ever known
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

(Talk Talk Talk talk talk talk)
I'm sick and tired of hearing all about my life,
from other bitches with all of your lies,
wrapped up so tight, so maybe you should shut your mouth shut your mouth
Shut your fucking mouth

Honestly, I think its kinda funny that you waste
your breath talking about me,
Got me feeling kinda special really (so this is what your all about)


Girl, your such a backstabber,
Oh girl, you're such a shit talker
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

Girl, your such a backstabber,
Run your mouth more than everyone I've ever known
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

Katie's just there repping my style,
Damn, Jeanie why you gotta tell the secrets about my sex life?
All I ever did was drive your broke ass around,
Pick you up, take you out,
when your car broke down

Backstabber (3x)

Girl, your such a backstabber,
Oh girl, your such a shit talker,
Everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

Girl, your such a backstabber,
(taking and twisting it down your so manipulating .oh.)
Run your mouth more than everyone I've ever known
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

talk.talk.talk. Backstabber(3x)
(taking and twisting it down your so manipulating .oh.)
Girl Talk talk
your looking like a lunatic
Everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

Everybody knows yeah...
your looking like a lunatic
and everybody knows yeah..

everybody knows
Backstabber(3x)

Control...
Another cigarette and I'm so bored
Your words aren't making sense
And I was taken but you were waiting
One more drink and I'm convinced

(Not one more sound)
Let your hair down
(Take the low road)
No one will know

Whoa
I feel just like we're taking control of the night
Of the night
Yeah
Yeah

Whoa

I feel just like we're losing control
But if you let go I'll let go tonight

Another minute lived
If you take me I'll take what you will give
I was late and she kept waiting
But I hope she knows where I've been

(Not one more sound)
Let your hair down
(Take the low road)
No one will know

Whoa
I feel just like we're taking control of the night
Of the night
Yeah
Yeah

Whoa
I feel just like we're losing control
But if you let go I'll let go tonight

I'm coming down
Bring me up
Take it off
Let's just touch

I'm coming down
Bring me up
Take it off
Let's just touch

I'm coming down
Bring me up
Take it off
Let's just touch

I'm coming down
Bring me up
Take it off
Let's just touch

Whoa
I feel just like we're taking control of the night
Of the night
Yeah
Yeah

Whoa
I feel just like we're losing control
But if you let go, I'll let go tonight

Almost Lover...
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind images
You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes clever trick

Well i?d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you?d want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images no

Well i?d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you?d want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and i'm haunted
And i bet you are just fine
Did i make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Why am I doing this?
Why am I torturing myself
By listening to your messages,
Reading your IMs,
And thinking of you?
But I can't help it, you see
Everything I do reminds me of you
And how I wish giving you everything
How I wish losing everything
How I wish my everything
Was good enough for you.

Hurt

I wish it was all just a dream
A nightmare I could wake up from
In the morning it would stop.
I wish when I opened my eyes
The pain would cease
Because I knew it wasn't real.
But it isn't a dream
The pain lives on
It will haunt me night and day.
The emptiness, the hurt, the tears
The need to feel crimson drops down my arm
They're all reminders that I've lost you yet again

Song Quotes That Describe My Feelings

"I'm starting to feel we stay together out of fear of dying alone..." -Death Cab For Cutie
"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play, now I long for yesterday..." -The Beatles
"High offa love
, drunk from the hate, it's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more that I suffer. 
I sufficate
, and right before I'm about to drown
, she resuscitates me, 
she fucking hates me
 and I love it
. Wait, 
where you going
? 'I'm leaving you,' no you ain't, come back, we're running right back
, here we go again
 it's so insane
 cuz when it's going good
, it's going great! 
I'm Superman with the wind in his bag, she's Lois Lane, but when it's bad
, it's awful, 
I feel so ashamed..." -Eminem
"I'm just so f**kin' depressed I just can't seem to get out this slump..." -Eminem
"I hardly recognize the girl you are today, and God I hope it's not too late..." -Michael Buble
"While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping, cuz when I heart breaks, no it don't break even..." -The Script
"Can somebody please find the surgeon that can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart?" -The Postal Service
"I know you won't admit this, but I am just a silhouette to you. You found comfort with my distance, but you never let me stray out of your view. Who really needs the past with the allure of something new? So we split apart at last, went back to places that I knew before you..." -Swimming With Dolphins
"On the floor, I'm just a zombie. Who I am is not who I wanna be. I'm such a tragedy, with every move I die. I have destroyed our love, it's gone. Payback is sick, it's all my fault... I'm dancing with tears in my eyes, just fighting to get through the night, I'm losing it, with every move I die... I'm fading, I'm broken inside, I've wasted the love of my life, I'm losing it, with every move I die... this is it, and now your really gone this time, never once thought I'd be in pieces left behind..." -Ke$ha
"Why do you build me up, buttercup, baby, just to let me down?" -The Foundations
"And now when all is done, there is nothing to say, you have gone and so effortlessly. You have won, you can go ahead tell them... tell them all I know now, shout it from the roof top, write it on the skylines, all we had is gone now. Tell them I was happy, and my heart is broken, all my scars are open, tell them what I hoped would be impossible..." -Shontelle
"All I ask is for you to not tell anybody the secrets I told you..." -I think Postal Service?
"It could be wrong, but it shoulda been right..." -Muse
"You're not gone, cuz I never said goodbye..." -Faun Fables
"You did it to yourself, now you're all by yourself, acting like you hate me, I left because you made me..." -Gorilla Zoe
"I can't let go, no I can't let go of you, you're holding me back without even trying, I can't let go of the past, without lifting a finger you're holding me back..." -Landon Pigg
"And I just woke up, but I wish that it was a nightmare, cuz when I have those it isn't real like this one is, this is my heart, and I won't allow the disrespect..." -Lady Gaga

Alternative

Definition: "An umbrella term for underground music that has emerged in the wake of punk rock since the mid-1980s. Throughout much of its history, alternative rock has been largely defined by its rejection of the commercialism of mainstream culture. Alternative bands during the 1980s generally played in small clubs, recorded for independent labels, and spread their popularity through word of mouth. As such, there is no set musical style for alternative rock as a whole, although The New York Times in 1989 asserted that the genre is 'guitar music first of all, with guitars that blast out power chords, pick out chiming riffs, buzz with fuzztone and squeal in feedback.' Sounds range from the dirty guitars of grunge to the gloomy soundscapes of gothic rock to the guitar pop revivalism of Britpop to the shambolic performance style of twee pop. More often than in other rock styles, alternative rock lyrics tend to address topics of social concern, such as drug use, depression, and environmentalism. This approach to lyrics developed as a reflection of the social and economic strains in the United States and United Kingdom of the 1980s and early 1990s." (Wikipedia)

Sidonie's Side Notes: Very similar to indie, but not quite the same. It's easy to confuse them. Alt is more mellow... it's the kind of music that I listen to while doing homework. Most of the bands I listen to are alternative.

Sidonie's favs/current obsessions:
Bands- Armor For Sleep, Death Cab For Cutie (Death Cab), Lifehouse, Nickelback, The Fray, Muse, The Killers, Red Hot Chili Peppers (RHCP), Rise Against, Fountains of Wayne, Coldplay, R.E.M.
Songs- Raindrop by Armor For Sleep, I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab, Tiny Vessels by Death Cab, Soul Meets Body by Death Cab, You Can Do Better Than Me by Death Cab, No Sunlight by Death Cab, She Says by Howie Day, Collide by Howie Day, From Where You Are by Lifehouse, Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse, You & Me by Lifehouse, Far Away by Nickelback, If Everybody Cared by Nickelback, Come Home by One Republic, All The Right Moves by One Republic, Never Say Never by The Fray, Look After You by The Fray, You Found Me by The Fray, Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, Uprising by Muse, Assassin by Muse, Starlight by Muse, Supermassive Black Hole by Muse, Romeo & Juliet by The Killers, A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers, Mr. Brightside by The Killers, When You Were Young by The Killers, Human by The Killers, That's What You Get by Paramore, Decode by Paramore, Ignorance by Paramore, Misery Business by Paramore, Under The Bridge by RHCP, Scar Tissue by RHCP, Snow (Hey Oh) by RHCP, Can't Stop by RHCP, Audience of One by Rise Against, Paper Wings by Rise Against, Savior by Rise Against, Entertainment by Rise Against, Valley Winter Song by Fountains of Wayne, Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne, All Kinds Of Time by Fountains of Wayne, The Scientist by Coldplay, Fix You by Coldplay, Yellow by Coldplay, Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg, Nightswimming by R.E.M., Losing My Religion by R.E.M., Everybody Hurts by R.E.M., Amber by 311, Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade, Your Call by Secondhand Serenade, White Lines & Red Lights by Between the Trees

Lyrics: Valley Winter Song...
Hey Sweet Annie
Don't take it so bad
You know the summer's coming soon
Though the interstate is choking under salt and dirty sand
And it seems the sun is hiding from the moon

Your daddy told you
When you were a girl
The kind of things that come to those who wait
So give it a rest girl
Take a deep breath girl
And meet me at the Bay State tonight

And the snow is coming down
On our New England town
And it's been falling all day long
What else is new?
What could I do?
I wrote a valley winter song
To play for you

And late December
Can drag a man down
You feel it deep in your gut
Short days and afternoons spent puttering around
In a dark house with the windows painted shut

Remember New York
Staring outside
As reckless winter made its way
From Staton Island to the Upper West Side
Whiting out our streets along the way

And the snow is coming down
On our New England town
And it's been falling all day long
What else is new?
What can I do?
But sing this valley winter song
I wrote for you x2

Raindrops...
You appear like raindrops
And leave like you sink through
The streets that you fall on
The cars that slip on you
All of this for just one night

Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but it’s okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air

The clouds will break my house
And throw me from my room
I’ll drown in the rainfall
And float till I find you

You appear like raindrops
And leave like you sink through
The streets that you fall on
The cars that slip on you
All of this for just one night

Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but it’s okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air

And I won’t need air
And I won’t need air
And I won’t need air
And I won’t need air
And I won't need air

Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but its okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air

Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but its okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air

Tiny Vessels...
This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her but you don't.
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

I spent two weeks in Silver lake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks,
And she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking,
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that I was telling
All the playful misspellings
and every bite I gave you left a mark

Tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did, and so did I that day

All I see are dark Grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "Is something wrong?"
I think "You're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now.
No, we can't talk about it now."

So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
and you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me (x2)

Emo/screamo

Definition: "A style of rock music typically characterized by melodic musicianship and expressive, often confessional lyrics. It originated in the mid-1980s hardcore punk movement of Washington, D.C., where it was known as "emotional hardcore" or "emocore" and pioneered by bands such as Rites of Spring and Embrace. As the style was echoed by contemporary American punk rock bands, its sound and meaning shifted and changed, blending with pop punk and indie rock and encapsulated in the early 1990s by groups such as Jawbreaker and Sunny Day Real Estate. By the mid 1990s numerous emo acts emerged from the Midwestern and Central United States, and several independent record labels began to specialize in the style." (Wikipedia)

Sidonie's Side Notes: MAJOR WARNING! The lyrics are usually about self hatred, self mutilation and suicide. You must prepare to feel legit emotion when listening to this kind of music. You will more than likely cry and want to go die in a hole. Why do you think it's called 'emo'? That's short for EMOTIONAL!

Sidonie's favs/current obsessions:
Bands- Hawthorne Heights, Flyleaf, Evanescence, Simple Plan, Blue October
Songs- Goodbye (I'm Sorry) by And Then I Turned Seven, Ohio Is For Lovers by Hawthorne Heights, I'm So Sick by Flyleaf, There for You by Flyleaf, So I Thought by Flyleaf, Cassie by Flyleaf, Zero by Hawk Nelson, Missing by Evanescence, My Immortal by Evanescence, Bleed by Evanescence, Together Again by Evanescence, Broken by Seether & Amy Lee, Perfect by Simple Plan, Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan, Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me) by Simple Plan, Black Orchid by Blue October, Calling You by Blue October, Into The Ocean by Blue October, Hate Me by Blue October

Lyrics: Ohio Is For Lovers...
Hey there,
I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.
Where you are and how you feel.
With these lights off as these wheels
keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...)
Slow things down or speed them up.
Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...)
How are you when I'm gone?

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.
[x2]

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
My final breath is gone
So I can fall asleep tonight

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
[to fade]

Goodbye (I'm Sorry)...
Time has run out, for me.
Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe.
It's so hard, lost in the world confusion.
And I need to leave, for a while.
Life is so meaningless, there is nothing worth a smile.
So goodbye, I'll miss you.

And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.

It's been the years, of abuse.
Neglected to treat the dissorder,
That controls my youth, for so long.
I'm in a fleshy tomb, burried up above the ground.
It's no use, why should I hold on?
It's been five years, don't need one more.
So goodbye, life's abuse.

And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.

(Every 18 minutes, somebody dies from a suicide.
Every 43 seconds, somebody attempts one.
If you, or anybody you know, is suicidle,
Call 1-800-784-2433.)

And I'm sorry, but this my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.

I'm So Sick...

I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

Hear it, I'm screaming it
You're heeding to it now

Hear it! I'm screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

I'm so sick
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so
I'm so sick
I'm so
I'm so sick

Metal

Definition: "Heavy metal is traditionally characterized by loud distorted guitars, emphatic rhythms, dense bass-and-drum sound, and vigorous vocals. Metal subgenres variously emphasize, alter, or omit one or more of these attributes. New York Times critic Jon Pareles writes, 'In the taxonomy of popular music, heavy metal is a major subspecies of hard rock—the breed with less syncopation, less blues, more showmanship and more brute force.' The typical band lineup includes a drummer, a bassist, a rhythm guitarist, a lead guitarist, and a singer, who may or may not be an instrumentalist. Keyboard instruments are sometimes used to enhance the fullness of the sound, but rarely are other instruments incorporated." (Wikipedia)

Sidonie's Side Notes: Absolutely NOT EVER to be confused with Emo and/or screamo. They're VERY different.

Sidonie's Favs/current obsessions:
Bands- Avenged Sevenfold (A7X), Bullet For My Valentine (Bullet), Korn, Disturbed, Three Days Grace (3DG), System Of A Down (SoaD)
Songs- Dear God by A7X, Scream by A7X, Afterlife by A7X, A Little Piece Of Heaven by A7X, All These Things I Hate by Bullet, Hearts Burst Into Fire by Bullet, Hit The Floor by Bullet, Evolution by Korn, Falling Away From Me by Korn, Freak On A Leash by Korn, Down With The Sickness by Disturbed, Stricken by Disturbed, Perfect Insanity by Disturbed, I Hate Everything About You by 3DG, Over and Over by 3DG, On My Own by 3DG, Toxicity by SoaD, Chemicals by Scars On Broadway, B.Y.O.B by SoaD, Sugar by SoaD, Chop Suey! by SoaD, Violent Pornography by SoaD, Aerials by SoaD

Lyrics: Down With The Sickness...
(Can you feel that?)
(Oh shit)
Ooh ah ah ah ah!
Ooh ah ah ah ah!
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing ... in me
(Will you give in to me?)

Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes
Oh no, There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon ... in me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me

I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
(Will you give in to me?)

It seems you're having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes
Oh no, the world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon ... in me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me

And when I dream
And when I dream
And when I dream
And when I dream!!!!
No mommy, don't do it again
Don't do it again
I'll be a good boy
I'll be a good boy, I promise
No mommy don't hit me Oh-oohh
Why did you have to hit me like that mommy?
Don't do it! You're hurting me Oh-oohh!
Why did you have to be such a bitch?
Why don't you,
Why don't you fuck off and die?
Why can't you just fuck off and die?
Why can't you just leave here and die?
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK YOU!!!
I don't need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
Would you like to see how it feels mommy?
Here it comes, get ready to die!

Ooh ah ah ah ah!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Mad-ness has now come over me

I Hate Everything About You...
Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don’t miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Only when I stop to think
About you, I know
Only when you stop to think
About me, do you know

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me

I hate
You hate
I hate
You love me
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?

Chemicals...
Well I slapped your face,
you fell in love when I said "FUCK YOUR MOM!"
I looked at you and said "It's all over!"

I turned around and walked away
and you just grabbed my arm
Well I looked at you said "I can't stay sober"

Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals.

MADNESS! Feeling scared,
looking around and nobody's there.
When I say "Fuck the world,
Let's get ready to rock!"
As I piss on your face while you suck on my cock.

MADNESS! No one cares,
looking around and nobody's there,
when I say, "Fuck the world, let's get ready to rock!"
As I piss on your face while you suck on my cock.

Oh maybe, baby,
won't you rape me, wont you fantasize
What about the time when we were lovers?
Well I tryed to phone you,
tryed to warn you but no compromise.
Well I grabbed your ass under the covers.

Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
MADNESS! Feeling scared,
looking around and nobody's there,
When I say "Fuck the world, let's get ready to rock!"
As I piss on your face while you suck on my cock.

MADNESS! No one cares,
looking around and nobody's there,
when I say "Fuck the world, let's get ready to rock!"
As I piss on your face while you suck on my cock.

Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals

MADNESS! Feeling scared,
looking around and nobody's there
When I say "Fuck the world, let's get ready to rock!"
piss on your face while you suck on my cock

MADNESS! No one cares,
looking around and nobdy's there,
when I say "Fuck the world, let's get ready to rock!"
As I piss on your face while you suck on my cock

Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals!
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals!
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals!
Come eat some chemicals with me,
come eat some chemicals.