Cold Hands

Hey, loves!! I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long. Gosh. Shame on me. Well anyways, I have tons of stuff to post for y'all right now. Lot's of poems n such. So here's the first one, it's called Cold Hands. It's about James, which is kinda funny since he dumped me (yes, yes, poor me.) I wanted to share it with y'all though cuz I know we all have that person in our lives who we feel this way about :)
Alright, here we go...

Cold nights
Cold feet
Cold nights make me think of you

Darkness creeps
I'm trying to sleep
Winter nights make me want you

The frost on the window
The sleet on the street
Make me think of your warmth
And when you kiss me, the heat.
As the days begin to get long
And the seasons begin to change
I know our love will go on
Like a familiar song, you'll never be a strange...er

it's Tasha
YOU JUST GOT HACKED
fodizzle
Envy: Didn't you hear? Todd's vegan."
Todd: "It's really not that big of a deal..."
Scott: "Not really. I mean, anyone can be vegan."
Todd: "Ovo-lacto-vegetarian, maybe."
Scott: "Ovo what?"
Todd: "I partake in not the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum of any creature with a face."
Envy: "Short answer, being vegan makes you better than other people."

Sidonie's Playlist (November 2010!)

Sorry I haven't done these in a while!!

Title: Not Like the Movies
Artist: Katy Perry
Favorite Lyric: "He put it on me, I put it on like there was nothing wrong, it didn't fit, it wasn't right, wasn't just the size. They say you know when you know, I don't know..."

Title: Gray or Blue
Artist: JayMay
Favorite Lyric: "Are you too nervous to be lovers? Friendship's ruined with just one kiss..."

Title: Jar of Hearts
Artist: Christina Perri
Favorite Lyric: "I wished that I had missed the first time that we kissed cuz you broke all of your promises..."

Title: Pitter-Pat
Artist: Erin McCarley
Favorite Lyric: "Pain takes my heart's place..."

Title: Rhythm of Love
Artist: Plain White Tee's
Favorite Lyric: "my head is stuck in the clouds, she begs me to come down, says 'boy, quit foolin around!'"

Title: Undisclosed Desires
Artist: Muse
Favorite Lyric: "I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask..."

Title: Karma Police
Artist: Radiohead
Favorite Lyric: "That's what you get when you mess with us."

Title: Dog Days Are Over
Artist: Florence + The Machine
Favorite Lyric: "Leave all your lovin', your lovin' behind, you can't carry it with you if you wanna survive..."

Title: For Those Who Wait
Artist: Fireflight
Favorite Lyric: "So we sing our lullaby to the lonely hearts tonight..."

Title: Deuces
Artist: Chris Brown
Favorite Lyric: "I'm a DICK so it shouldn't be that hard to swallow..."

Title: Already Taken
Artist: Trey Songz
Favorite Lyric: "She don't care about going to the strip club, she wanna go too..."

P.R.I.D.E.

I admit I cried once a week when Aaron and I were together. I admit I cried when Alex stopped loving me. I admit I cried when Ben and Jacob both rejected me in the same week. I admit I cried the first time Bruno and I had a fight. I admit I cried when Dominick told me he didn't wanna go out with me. I admit I cried when I realized Jak wasn't happy with our relationship... but never, ever in my life have I cried and hurt so much as 6 months ago on New Years. Never in my life have I cried so much over one person. That was the worst day of my life. And boy, 6 months seems like a fuckin long time when it still hurts like it happened yesterday.

My Tumblr Account?!

formspring.me

No one ever asks me anything anymore :P do your worst! http://formspring.me/longlivepeas

Los Amores De Mi Vida

Alright, so right now I'm having kind of an affection burt and I need a hug and I wanna talk to all of the people that I love but since I can't, I'm going to appreciate them all here and tell them how much I love them. Also, these are in like, randomass order.
*ehem*

To start off, SofiLoaf: thank you for always being there for me. I love you so much even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it. We've gone through the best and the worst of times together, but we still love each other just the same. Even if we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, we're still in the others' heart and mind.
Melen: "Hi, Helen, it's Sidonie... oh wait... it's Helen..." I love you. Just thought I'd say that. You are amazingly funny and make me laugh my ass off for hours on end. You give TERRIBLE advice, but always try to help me when I'm having a breakdown anyways. You're the best bff ever for threatening every guy I've ever been with if he hurt me. You're great. I also love how we have similar taste in boys so we can talk about that ALL THE TIME. Mwah mwah mwah. We're not lesbians, we're just best friends.
Lucay Pussay: Oh... baby boo... how I adore you. Even when I'm a flaky ass friend, you still love me and insist on seeing me. You also still trust me and don't let what other people say affect our friendship. It's not every day that I talk so openly with someone who I've only known for a few months about... EVERYTHING. We laugh and cry and talk about everything from masturbation to video games... we're SUUUCH guys :)
Tashyboo: ...BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. lawl. I'm sorry but I have no words for how much I just love you like balls. Mehhheheheheehehe... girl... sex.
Leila: Awwwhh.. baby girl... you are as close to a little sister that I have. You ARE my little sister. I can't even believe how much we've gone through together and even like... why... who knew that a terrible heartbreak could bring such a wonderful friendship? We're ALWAYS there for each other even though we only see each other once every like billion years. Mwah baby girl I love you.
Jak & Mori: boys... you make my life interesting.
Colleen: let's have sex, k? On Mr. Vierra's desk. I love you girl. I think if we weren't so close, I would have a lesbian crush on you. Don't think that's weird.
Jamie: Ahhh man... alright, here's a good one. James, you're so amazing. You're the sweetest guy ever. You're such a good boyfriend and such a good friend and just generally a great guy. You're always there for me, and you're always trying to make me happy, and you're always happy yourself, which makes ME happy. You make me smile when you smile, you make me smile when you kiss me, you make me smile when you sing and laugh and act hyper. It makes me laugh when you're musically retarded, but you walk around singing the Double Rainbow song. Jesus Christ, boy, I like you a lot. We can talk about... almost everything... especially allergies with Dom hahaha. I miss you so much when I don't see you and you don't even know how much it means to me to know that you care about me and wouldn't hurt me, and you're just so so so great. There's so so so much more I wanna say, but mostly, I love you sweetheart <3 :)
Last but definitely not least, Dominick: You. sex. pot. Oh goodness. Domo, you don't even know how much you mean to me. I know you don't know what it means to be my new Caleb, but I hope that someday you discover that it's something really special. I kinda can't put into words all of the things that I wanna say to you, but mostly me love you long time.

Pacific day, won't you take me away?

I love California. I can't imagine living anywhere but here. Ever. I love the weather and the people and the reputation that we have for all being tan and attractive. I love the animals here and the fact that it NEVER snows. I love when I'm at the beach and my feet are in the water just a little bit, and I can smell the ocean and hear the seagulls. I love that seagulls are EVERYWHERE. They're even at my school, which is miles away from the sea. I love how accepting this state is, and I love how we're not thought of as being racist or homophobic, cuz I can't stand states like that. I love the language we speak. I love how wherever us Californians go, people can tell that we're from California because we say things like "hella" and "breh." I love how every girl has bangs and every guy owns a pair of shorts. I love how you can walk around any city at any time and see at least one person wearing only shorts and a t-shirt (*coughcoughJamesReynescoughcough*). I love Berkeley and Oakland and San Francisco and San Diego and Los Angeles and San Bruno and Castro Valley and everything else. I love how there's ALWAYS music around. Seriously, walk down Telegraph and you'll most definitely hear music. I love how all of the cities have different names for all of the different little neighborhoods. Like in Oakland we have Montclair and Piedmont Ave. and Rockridge even though they're all ACTUALLY parts of Oakland. I loveveeeevevevevveveveveevevevveveveveeeeeevveveeeeeeeee California. :)

"Aloha, my happy west coast friends. Do you feel alive when the breaking waves arrive and rush all around you? The beach homes in Oceanside are quite well-known by the evening tide, and we can sleep where we reside with redwoods around us. The blue air is up there and could I bring it down, I'd bottle it up and save it for a sweet summer night. I bought a one-way ticket cuz I knew I'd never see the ground unless I was aboard a jet plane and we were going down, when I wiped the tears from my eyes, the warm water took me by surprise, and I woke up beside the ocean and I realized... I must be in California" -Owl City

Salad Fingers part 1

Okay so I have to do these in little sections, otherwise it will just kill my soul to do them all at once.


Episode one- Spoons:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3iOROuTuMA&list=SL
This episode is about 2 minutes long. In the beginning, Salad Fingers is introduced to us and he talks about how he really likes rusty spoons. He says that the feeling of rust against his salad fingers is almost orgasmic. So SF (Salad Fingers) walks around this creepy-ass town and finds a house. He rings the doorbell and strokes the metal on it, and a little kid opens the door. SF asks the child about their spoons. The kid leads SF into the house and brings him to the kitchen. SF yet again asks about the spoons, and the kid screeches something that we cannot understand. Then SF says, "I see. Then I must leave. But first I'd like to stroke this rusty kettle."
What does this mean? I think that this introduction is good. It tells us that Salad Fingers is looking for something more in his life than what he has. In my head, I keep making the connection of SF to Lennie from Of Mice and Men. Lennie really likes to touch soft things, and Salad Fingers really likes to touch rusty things. They have the same childish ignorance to them, yet SF seems to have a deeper issue than Lennie does.

Episode 2- Friends:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuCw5k-Lph0&list=SL&playnext=1
This episode is about 4 minutes long. In the beginning, Salad Fingers tells us that he's having a get-together with his friends. Now, by this time, you might be thinking, "Oh shit. What are his friends going to be like? This dude is pretty screwed up already!" I must admit, I was thoroughly surprised when SF lifted his hand and had finger puppets on it. He introduces us to his finger puppet friends (Hubert Cumberdale, Marjory Stewart-Baxter and Jeremy Fisher.) The camera pans in on SF's mouth with him salivating and smacking his lips. He then wonders aloud what his friends taste like. He tastes Marjory and thinks she tastes yummy, and then makes a disgusted face when he tastes Hubert. He does not, however taste Jeremy. SF then says that he has a fish in the oven if anyone is interested, and then starts to speak a language that I don't recognize just from listening to it a few times (if anyone knows that it was or what that SF said or what it means, please let me know.) The scene changes. A man is walking by SF's house and he suddenly hears SF whining, "help... help me..." The man goes into Salad Fingers' house TERRIFIED looking. The dude finds SF in the kitchen in the dark and SF tells him that the fish that he is cooking is in the back of the oven and he can't get it out. The man goes to the oven to get the fish out and SF is holding the door to the oven open. SF spots a sharp hook on the wall and lets the door to the oven close. SF strokes the hook and pierces his finger with it. He then says, "I like it when the red water comes out" and faints. The scene changes again to Salad Fingers in a meat locker singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow and stroking the meat. Hubert Cumberdale suddenly appears in not finger puppet form and scarily screeches words that we can't understand. SF ignores Hubert and strokes his head with a rusty spoon. Hubert disappears and SF walks over to a piece of meat on a bloody hook and strokes the hook with his finger. The camera gets fuzzy and colorful and we can see SF spinning around all wobbly. We're back in his kitchen and SF says that he must have dozed off. The camera zooms out and we see SF sitting in a large puddle of blood. Salad Fingers sniffs and says something about the fish being done, and then we see the oven smoking.
What does this mean? I'm not quite sure. I think that from this episode we get the first hints of wondering if Salad Fingers is gay. With Salad Fingers eating his friends that HE created, I feel like this symbolizes insecurity and discomfort. I must bring up the point that Salad Fingers doesn't taste Jeremy Fisher. Why is this relevant? Because Jeremy Fisher is SF's black friend. Subtle hints of racism? Maybe. Maybe not. I feel like Salad Fingers speaking another language has severe importance to my analysis on this episode, but at this time since I don't know what he said, I'll have to come back to that point. When Salad Fingers closes the oven door on the dude who is trying to help him, I think that SF was truly trying to be helpful and hold the door for him! I don't think that SF is this malicious killer who loves blood and murder. He said himself that he likes blood, but he doesn't understand what blood is. He thinks it's red water! The meat locker scene is where I feel like there are hints of homosexuality brewing. It's cold, Salad Fingers is singing a happy song and doing things that he really likes to do (touch meat, touch hooks, look at blood, etc.) Hubert Cumberdale suddenly appears and they share this intimate moment where Salad Fingers strokes HC with a spoon (which we already know he loves from Episode 1- Spoons.) After the meat locker scene, Salad Fingers wakes up from what he thinks was sleep, but was obviously fainting from loss of blood. This is confirmed when we see him sitting in a puddle of his own blood.

Episode 3- Nettles:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojoICRzSCOo&list=SL&playnext=2
This episode is about 3 minutes long. In the beginning, we see Salad Fingers in a wasteland holding nettles. He says that he has been enjoying the pleasures of them. SF walks over to a baby carriage and says that he is going to call it a nettle carrier. Salad Fingers then puts nettles in the carrier and walks away. We then see a man with no arms and an apron that says "BBQ" get angry, turn red and run after Salad Fingers. The scene changes. We see Salad Finger's house, then the no armed man, and then Salad Fingers inside of his home sitting with his shirt off in the corner. Salad Fingers rubs the nettles on his nipples and some white stuff comes out. Salad Fingers makes a face like he's having an orgasm and says, "oh.. it seems as though nettles make the milk drop out of my teat." We see the no armed man outside of SF's window really angry and then we see SF in the corner again. He says that the nettles make him think happy times. There is a flashback to Salad Fingers and Hubert Cumberdale in salon chairs with blow dryers over their heads. We come back from the flashback and the no armed man hits his head on the door to SF's house trying to get in. He starts to bleed but keeps hitting his head. He finally faints and SF comes outside wondering what is going on. SF asks the dead man what his name is and when he doesn't respond, SF gives him the name Milford Cubicle. Salad Fingers welcomes Milford inside, and drags him along with blood streaming out from his head when MC doesn't respond. SF places MC on a hook in his house and asks if he is comfortable. Salad Fingers then starts to play the flute...
What does this mean? Well, first of all, I think that "Milford Cubicle" or the no armed man was the father of whatever baby belonged in the "nettle carrier" or baby carriage. I think this because the stereotype for fatherly men is for them to be macho and hard-headed when it comes to their kids, and so Milford's BBQ apron makes me think that he is the father. We again see how Salad Fingers enjoys torturing himself. He gets pleasure from pain as we see in the scene where the milk comes from his nipple. And ah, here is more homosexual hinting! Salad Fingers' "happy time" has to do with HUBERT CUMBERDALE. The stereotype for gay men is to do things that women do. Often, women go to the salon to get their hair done. This is what Salad Fingers and Hubert were doing together. Coincidence? Sidonie thinks not. When SF brings Milford inside of his home, he doesn't realize that Milford is dead. This shows the ignorance of Salad Fingers and the desire he has for companionship. He also then asks Milford if the hook in his back in comfortable, as if it would be for SF. Pleasure from pain again.

Episode 4- Cage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBNrtrntkJ4
This episode is about 5 and a half minutes long. In the beginning, we find Salad Fingers talking about how we was going to find France. SF looks and sees a little alien-like looking boy staring at him. SF says that the boy had been watching him for a while and that he would find France another day. Salad Fingers starts to walk away, and suddenly the kid appears in front of him. The kid looks at SF and has hearts around his head. He then says something that we can't understand and Salad Fingers FREAKS OUT. He starts stuttering and looks confused and panicked. SF puts his hand out to stop the boy from coming any closer and the boy licks him! The kid says something that sounds (in my ears) like, "I love you," and SF gets even more panicked. The scene changes and we see Salad Fingers' house, and then inside of SF's house, a bug crawls out of the wall. Salad Fingers appears and says, "Hello Bordois... I've been thinking about you... what have you been gathering today, little sister? ...really? Oh... your body is so much FUN. I just want to give you a big stroke." SF lifts up his finger and crushes the bug. He then gets mad and talks about how his little sister got flat and gooey and how he wouldn't play with her anymore until she had a bath. There is knock on the door. SF opens it and finds the tap part of a sink on the ground with a string tied to it. He walks outside and the tap gets pulled away. Naturally, SF follows it into the woods. In the woods, SF steps on a bear trap and faints (from his blood loss thing again like in episode 2). The scene changes and we see SF in a cage. SF notices the rusty poles in the cage and rubs his hands all over them like he's giving a hand job. The little kid then comes over and blows a kiss at SF. He then asks SF to marry him and SF doesn't like it. He freaks out and says he doesn't like the game and wants to go home. The kid gets mad and then sad when Salad Fingers actually disappears. "The kid cries out of his one abnormally large eye" -James Reynes
What does this mean? Not much. I think that from this episode we learn 2 important things. One, that Salad Fingers was so used to being alone and so used to having things go his way because he made everything up in his head, that once he begins to have real interactions with real people, it freaks him out. Two, he might have molested his younger sister. When he says "your body is so fun," what else could that mean metaphorically? Oh, also, the fact that the kid who likes SF is a boy. COINCIDENCE? Sidonie thinks not! Definitely more homosexuality references.

Writer's Cock. Oh, wait...

So lately I've been having really intense Writer's Block, which is why I haven't been blogging. Also I have finals this week so I've generally been kinda busy. I haven't been meaning to neglect you, faithful readers, I promise!
So I feel like right now there's a lot that I should be telling you. Recently Dominick Mortarotti, who also has a blog (I believe) and is actually like my best friend EVER (my new Caleb, haha) showed me these videos on YouTube called Salad Fingers.
WARNING: Do not keep reading if you are faint of heart! These videos are creepy as hell!
So anyways, I think I might do a review and commentary on each of the Salad Fingers episodes because they just affected me so deeply... you'll see why later on.
Also, regarding Dominick, he gave me a book to read called The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life (Volume I) by Drunvalo Melchizedek. That's a mouth full! (Heehee... insert sexual innuendo here.) I haven't actually started the book yet, but I probably will tonight. It talks a lot about human consciousness and our physical being. Because of Dominick, for the past few months I've been really starting to get into these kinds of things. In fact, last night I went outside in the pouring rain in the dark and meditated. It was pretty awesome. I felt really in touch with myself and my body and my inner spirit. I know I may sound crazy to a lot of you, but I don't care...
Okay, I'll talk to you later after I'm done watching Salad Fingers again. YEAAHHH, YAY FOR BEING CREEPED OUT AS FUCK!! WHOO!!
xoxo

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing...

I'm so tired of all of the fake bitches out there who think they're so cool by posting pix of them doing stupid shit on Facebook. Don't you know that what goes on Facebook stays on Facebook FOREVER? Your future schools, future employers, parents, future significant others' can look at that shit and see how fake and dumb you are? I'm especially tired of those girls who are completely straight but post pictures of them kissing other girls in a sexual way? That's okay if you're a pornstar, not if you're a regular person. You're giving females a bad name and you look trashy as shit. Also, it's kind of... oh idk, ILLEGAL to be smoking or drinking as a minor? Anyone who hates you enough could majorly fuck your life by showing the police pix of you with bottles of alcohol that YOU were dumb enough to take and post on Facebook-- a public website. Just saying.
I hate that people ENCOURAGE this behavior too! THIS PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN ANYTHING.
I seriously can't even describe how angry I am.

Ke$ha never ceases to amaze me

November 22, 2010. Ke$ha's new album came out, and, well, it's amazing to say the least. One song in particular pulled one of my heart strings. The Harold Song...
(This is not an official video, it's fan-made)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKdKMlW-ykI


I Miss Your Soft Lips,
I Miss Your White Sheets.
I Miss The Scratch Of Your unShaved Face On My Cheek.
And this is so hard,
Cuz I didn't see,
That you were the love of my life and it kills me.
I see your face in, strangers on the street.
I still say your name when I'm talking in my sleep.
And in the limelight, I play it off fine.
But I can't handle it when I turn off my night light.

But I can't handle it when I turn off my night light.

They say that true love hurts,
Well this could almost kill me. Young love murdered,
That is what this must be.
I would give it all,
To not be sleeping alone.
The life is fading from me,
While you watch my heart bleed. Young love murdered, that is what this this must be.
And I would give is all,
To not be sleeping alone.

Remember the time we jumped the fence when the Stones were playing and we were to broke to get in.
You held my hand and they made me cry while
I swear to God that it was the best night of my life.
Or when you took me, across the world,
We promised this would last forever but now I see.
It was my past life.
A beautiful time.
Drunk off of nothing but each other till the sun rise. Drunk off of nothing but each other till the sun rise.

They say that true love hurts,
Well this could almost kill me. Young love murdered,
That is what this must be.
And I would give it all,
To not be sleeping alone.
The life is fading from me,
While you watch my heart bleed. Young love murdered,
That is what this this must be.
And I would give is all,
To not be sleeping alone.

It was the past life.
A beautiful time.
Drunk off of nothing but each other till the sun rise.

They say that true love hurts,
Well this could almost kill me. Young love murdered, that is what this must be.
And I would give it all, to not be sleeping alone. The life is fading from me, while you watch my heart bleed.
Young love murdered, that is what this this must be.
And I would give is all, to not be sleeping alone...





This song like... kills me. It... just kinda hurts to listen to, ya know? It's one of those songs that captures perfectly how I feel about my past, and even though I hadn't cried over this one thing in so so long, as soon as I heard the 30 second snipit of The Harold Song on iTunes, I was bawling. My reaction:
Tears streaming down my cheeks, eyes red and puffy, heart racing, mind racing, thinking "Holy shit, fuck you! How could you do this to me?"
Which brings me to another song, er, line of a song that I will go into another time...

Anyways, if anyone else feels this way about The Harold Song, please please let me know. If anyone else had a reaction such as mine, I wanna hear about it.

Sidonie's Playlist (December 2010!)

Title: Grow A Pear
Artist: Ke$ha
Favorite Lyric: "And no... I don't wanna see your mangina..."

Title: Cannibal
Artist: Ke$ha
Favorite Lyric: "I think you're hot, I think you're cool, you're the kind of guy I'd stalk in school but now that I'm famous you're up my anus, NOW I'M GONNA EAT YOU FOOL! I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch, then when I'm thirsty I drink their blood, carnivore animal, I am a cannibal, I eat boys up... you better run..."

Title: 9 Crimes
Artist: Damien Rice
Favorite Lyric: "And is that all right? No..."

Title: Laughing With
Artist: Regina Spektor
Favorite Lyric: "God could be funny when told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way and when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus... God can be so hilarious..."

Title: Eet
Artist: Regina Spektor
Favorite Lyric: "It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song, you can't believe it, you were always singing along..."

Title: You Could Be Happy
Artist: Snow Patrol
Favorite Lyric: "You could be happy, I hope you are."

Title: Transatlanticism
Artist: Death Cab For Cutie
Favorite Lyric: "I need you so much closer..."

Title: Goodnight and Go
Artist: Imogen Heap
Favorite Lyric: (none that really stand out to me)

Title: We Intertwined
Artist: The Hush Sound
Favorite Lyric: "Carry a blanket, maybe a basket, but that's it. Innocence wasn't key, always locked up never free until you turned me..."

A Moment of Love Between a Laugh, a Kiss, a Cry to Right a Wrong... A Moment...

Sidonie Osborne
Ms. Souza
English I, Period 1
November 16, 2010


“As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment.” -Of Mice and Men, chapter 5

In 8th grade, every argument with a friend seems more extreme than it is in reality. At my middle school, every year during the spring, the entire class would take a trip to a different environmental camp for 5 days. This trip was called “Outdoor Education” or “Outdoor Ed.” for short. A few weeks before my 8th grade Outdoor Ed. trip to Catalina Island, my best friend, Kevin, and I had gotten into an argument. This argument would soon ruin our friendship, as well as my friendship with the vast majority of the boys in my class of 38 students. Looking back, Kevin and my argument was indeed serious, but during Outdoor Ed, it got out of hand, which led one of the most horrifying moments of my life.
Kevin and I had not spoken in weeks, and I was already miserable because of it. Losing your best friend is never easy especially if you know deep down that it is your fault. I couldn’t stop thinking about Kevin. He and I had been close for years, and it hurt me so much knowing that I had hurt him. On the third day of Outdoor Ed, during one of our free times, I was spending time with my female best friends in their cabin, when one of our other friends comes in.
“Sidonie,” she says, “Kevin told me to tell you he wanted to talk to you. I think he’s going to say he isn’t mad at you anymore.”
Naturally, since Kevin and I had not spoken since our fight, I got excited and nervous all at once. Helen, my current best friend, turned to me and asked if I wanted her to come with me.
“No,” I said. “I have to do this on my own.”
I headed out of their cabin alone and walked the 50 yards or so to the middle of the boys’ camp site and the girls’ camp site. I saw Kevin and a small group of other boys from our class whom had once been my friends walking from their camp site. When Kevin and I stood face to face, he told me to sit, so I did. We both sat on the grass, while the group of boys stood behind Kevin and watched. It seemed like forever before he finally said,
“So…”
“So,” I replied. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Sidonie, I want to be friends again. I miss you so much and can’t believe that we’re not friends anymore,” Kevin said, seemingly sincere, while some of the boys behind him snickered.
“Really?” I asked. Forever seemed to pass again and I watched Kevin pull grass out of the ground.
“No,” said Kevin. He then continued to stand up, scream profanities at me, and walk away with the group of boys, laughing hysterically as I sat there alone.
My face turned red, my heart was raced, my eyes swelled with tears. I couldn’t breathe and it felt like forever before I finally stood up and walked back to my friends’ cabin; red eyed and in hysterics. As soon as I pushed the fabric door away and my friends saw me, they rushed to my side and held me as I cried in their shoulders. They kept asking what had happened, but I couldn’t get the words out. I felt betrayed, as well as obvious sadness and regret.
For the next few hours, I cried in the comforting arms of my friends. I couldn’t believe what had happened, and for weeks after the incident, I was in denial about it. This was one of the most scarring days of my life so far, and even to this day it hurts to think about this moment that seemed to last forever. However, it is moments like this that build character and have made me who I am today.

Talent

Katy Perry once said, "I believe that when talent meets preparation meets opportunity, you can breed success." I have so many friends (including myself) who have the talent and preparation part down, they just need the opportunity. I'm here to tell you all about my talented friends, and maybe if I feel like it, I'll post some of my talent on here sometime... I'll see. Anyways... here we go.

Name: Grace Wyman
How I know her: we went to elementary school together, and now we go to high school together
http://www.youtube.com/user/Gymnast29990

Name: Mbwana Blake
How I know him: we have history class together
http://www.youtube.com/user/BAYMAPPIN

Name: Point Of Interest
How I know them: we go to school together, the guitarist and the singer are my neighbors, I went to preschool with the bassist, I dated the drummer, and I'm just really close to the keyboardist. I'm also kinda their manager, so check them out.
http://www.youtube.com/user/POI2014
http://www.twitter.com/POI2014

Name: Mori Wexler
How I know him: best friends since 6th grade, we met at a dance
http://www.facebook.com/pages/RAM/189288837674

Shawty ima tell you this once you the illest...

Actually, yes, I am the illest. I'm at home sick :P I also stayed home yesterday which totally sucks because now I'm going to have a crapload of homework to make up... Yay! Actually it's not that bad, it's more the Spanish test that I have on Friday (tomorrow) that I'm stressing about. *sigh* I really dislike that class... a lot. I like the people in it, but I hate the actual class. It's just really stressful.
Anyways, I was going through my old blog posts and thought that I hadn't had any new posts for November yet, so I decided to make one! I think in a minute I'm gonna turn on my computer (even though I'm lightweight terrified that my teachers are gonna be hella creepin' on me)... heehee :) alright, lots of love!